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Leland recites _Karma_KillerLeland
00:00 / 02:40

I’m a karma killer. It’s my profession. Talent really. You might have seen my ad on the back of one of your local neighborhood rag 1-800-karma kil. Must have been how she found me. She was late.

I knew she was trouble when she walked into my office—aura dark, really dark, almost black.

Little introductions, she started right in about how life never gives her a break. Life has been one disaster after another. I was her last resort. I don’t take it personally anymore, comes with the job.

Then she started in on her past life and what she can remember of it. Tries to tell me she has reincarnated and is trapped in a pattern from before. Wants to know if I think there is a connection.

I tell her it doesn’t work like that doll. You have your soul in a scramble. Wants to know what I suggest.

I tell her to go to the beach, hug a tree, look at the stars. She starts to protest, but I stop her and say, look doll, it’s that simple, trust me. You’re not here paying off some past life debt. The Milky Way is bigger than you. And there are a billion of those. And it’s all expanding. Don’t fight it. Find your place in it and be.

I see her start to relax. A smile begins to form on her lips, kissable lips truly. I can see her start breathing again, deeply. And damn if her aura isn’t lighter. Look at that—doll’s a blonde.

Wants to know what she owes me. Nothing I tell her. Just keep it simple. Then she does smile, gets up thanking me as she leaves. Soft hands. Certainly a better exit than her entrance. The kid will be okay. People, I think, when are they going to learn to keep it simple?

I’m a karma killer. It’s my profession. You might have seen my ad 1-800-karma-kil. Don’t be afraid to use it.

_Social_InvitationsLeland & Jaff
00:00 / 04:43

Leland Wheeler & Jaff Seijas - a satirical spoof on The spoiled rich. In the finale of the song Leland delivers a hilarious

monologue (The Susan & Playboy spoof) !

 

The social invitations
Are coming in each day
I’m glad to be on Park Place
And Baby by the way…

The jewel in the crown
Is very plain to see
By everyone who passes
That You belong to Me!

The sky is the limit
Let’s put out all the stops
Let’s spend all those millions
While we’re at the Top

I’ll breakfast in tuxedos
Just like Cary Grant
You’ll wear diamond slippers
Miss Cinderella fancy-pants

We’ll take the Maserati
downtown
And eat some high class sushi
Big tippers leave no frowns

Well take the jet to London
Cruise Aegean Seas
The post cards that we send out
Will leave our chums dizzy….

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(Finale: Leland does the finale monologue......)

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